I am sitting in a coffeeshop, listening to India Arie, a cloudy day outside, and I am supposed to be studying biology. Something more important has come over me, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this time in my life.
Last night, I left my volunteering shift at the hospital to come home and spend some time with myself. I turned my phone on airplane mode and unplugged. In the past week, my emotions have been a rollercoaster between gratitude and trusting to sadness and grieving. I have had to put myself first and realized how I haven’t done that in a really long time. And, the result has been a wholeness that I haven’t felt in a really long time either.
I lit candles, set up a bath, put on my meditation music, and grabbed “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte (Thank you, Erin). I began to read and underline the quotes and words that stood out to me:
These are common Core Desired Feelings that I always want, but I have realized in my life I haven’t made room for them. l have been so focused on my future, creating attainable goals, and focusing on others that I forgot about how I want to feel. And to me, feeling these emotions are more important than achieving any goals I would set. I would rather truly feel these feelings everyday and love the life I lead. And, if it also happens through achieving my goals, then amazing.
So now, I let go of attachment to the ideas that I have of the future (I definitely still have a vision, and am letting go of attachment to that specific vision) and seeing what I can create through bringing these feelings into my everyday life. I am starting with putting energy into the relationships that fuel me, dancing as often as possible, painting, going on adventures, and focusing on myself and what I want.
What do you want to feel in your life and what can you do to bring these emotions into your everyday?
Today, I am grateful for this time in my life. I feel stronger and more whole than I have in a long time. I have created the safety I want to feel for myself and the love I want to have within myself. I have surrounded myself with supportive friends who are teaching me how to receive and that asking for help is okay. And, I am doing it. And, we all have the power to do this.
Your value and what you bring to the world is worthy of this kind of life and this feeling. Not because of anything you have done or haven’t done, but because you are alive. Because you walk on this Earth and through your presence bring your light and love. You matter. You are important. You are enough. You can create this life and I want to help you.
So today, I sit here in gratitude for my life, my community, everything that has led me here, and for myself.
“The difference between a flower and a weed is judgement.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
(PLUG: If you want to attend a workshop on Gratitude and you live in Denver, then check out a gratitude workshop I am hosting on Saturday, November 25th click here to register)